Free Spirit

Life is too short to live by rules, doing only those things which are expected of you. So, live for the moment. Sometimes it is good to take risks... you will gain a whole lot more and learn a thing or two about yourself. Playing safe will get you no where! Be a free spirit. Play more. Be cautious  but don't be inhibited. Live, love laugh a little.

Friday Thoughts...

The number of things that have unfolded in the past few days are quite fascinating. We seem to move from scandals to shocking news to debates and don't even get me started on politics! 

• Politicians are busy 'merging' and creating convenient political alliances. 

All this while the electorate is busy 'aligning' themselves with their preferred candidate or political parties. As others seriously weigh options on who to vote for [in my opinion this is a reserve of the smart]. 

As this goes on other's are busy declaring that an individual is a reformer but others argue s/he has nothing to show for it!! 

While others say 'this one would make a good President but I doubt he will make it'. 

With whom does the power to vote and elect lie again? Please remind me. We have the power and ability to elect a Leader. Not a Tribal Chief. Someone who will devote those 5 years to ensuring Kenyan's have a better life, their economy grows, opportunities are well spread to the have-not's and the have's, people have access to healthcare, citizens are secure, infrastructure is excellent... the list is endless. Will we get such a leader this time round? 

• Then there is the bill proposing that if you cohabit for 6 months, according to the law you should be deemed to be legally married. 

In a society where morality levels have drastically fallen I wonder if this bill shall see the light of day. According to the many comments I have read, a man always knows IF he WILL marry the woman he is dating. He knows the outcome before anything happens between them. He knows if you are his future wife or his play thing till the real Missus he is waiting for shows up. Ladies do not be confused about this. This is why there is the rage about having 'standards', 'requiring' your man to do certain things and not acting like a wife when you don't even know if you are the girlfriend. And no, I'm not talking sex only... 

If a man loves you and wants you in his life, he should be able to put a ring on your finger, in front of God and man and proudly declare you HIS woman. No games, no emotional drama no debates and no hiding.

• This comes hot on the heels of the raging debates of the second or other wife! 

Some women have come out proudly declaring they are the second wives to prominent men. And they are proud about it. So proud in fact they are on the magazine covers. Pastors, men, women [both married and unmarried] have spit venom on these proud declarations. 

My opinion, it takes two to tango: the married man, who leaves his home and finds another woman and decides you shall be my 'wife' and the woman, who when approached by such a man, for reasons best known to her 'accepts' this arrangement and is okay with it.

Society can hurl all manner of superlatives at them [read the woman] but at the end of the day it has happened and lets face it, this is a rampant thing. Only that now we have the balls to discuss it and admit it instead of secretly mumbling to ourselves. Here we are. Pointing fingers at those who are in this predicament passing judgement. 

I however must laud these women. They are brave. Kenyans can burn you for coming out in public and saying 'I am doing this'. Their comments will scare you for life if you do not have thick skin and expect sympathy. They will burn you alive for admitting to be engaging in something openly that they are doing in secret. At least they are honest enough to come out and say this is the arrangement we have as compared to those who have secret affairs that span years! And the other spouse rarely knows of this affair not until an unfortunate thing happens e.g death or a mighty scandal.

As all these take the 'forefront':

• Accidents continue happening everyday. 
• Power black out's are a common occurrence should it rain.
• The cost of living is ever increasing.
• Central bank has lowered it's CBR rate, let's see how that translates to the ordinary Kenyan.
• It is raining heavily. Question is, is this resource being harvested to be utilized later?
• The police have the 'go-slow' going on.
• Nurses were reported to be 'thinking' [I use the term loosely] of going on strike again.
• On one of those radio shows, a young girl went to have an abortion and it was done so badly she had to have her uterus removed.
• Churches are attacked.

The list is endless. Yet, what is it that takes precedence in the Kenyan media and minds?

Mind Shift

The best thing ever according to me, is when you experience a mind shift.

You know, there are those thoughts you usually have...and you conclude ' I cannot do that'. And then at another point much later, you go like 'I should do that... I think I can make it.' That right there my friend is a mind shift. A mind shift can totally elevate you make you feel sooooooo much better about you. And we all need to feel good about ourselves don't we?

Self Worth

What are the thoughts about yourself like? Are they upbeat, positive, high up there or are they defeatist, pitiful and negative? Do you always see someone else as better than you or do you see someone that is better than you and challenge yourself to become better? Do you see possibilities or are you blinded by the tough situations at hand that all you see are impossibilities?

There are people you meet and you just love being around them simply because they exude positive vibes. They leave you feeling motivated and you almost feel like getting out there and changing A LOT of things about your life. That is exactly how I felt when I listened to Dr. Wale Akinyemi speak. I constantly asked myself what life have I been living? These kind of people make you think and believe you can better. We definitely need more people like those around us. Why? Because they challenge you to be better. They help you see that where you are is not the end life as you know it. 

Funny thing is, usually the more you sit and ponder about something you may never start. Because the task ahead will seem daunting. The minute you step out even with all your uncertainty you will find ways opening up mysteriously. An idea will come to mind and a bulb will light up in your head and you will ask 'how did I not think of/know that?' Well it's because then you had imaginary hurdles but now that you have stepped out, your mind is working. Your eyes are seeing things and your mind is processing these things and your idea becomes even better. 

So how can you improve your self worth? Well, you can start by changing your associations. Hang out more with people who have the 'I can' and 'I will' mentality. People who don't ask why just because they see impossibilities but who also ask  when and how can we start to do this. People who can take a step forward and start right where they are not because they have bucket loads of money and more than enough support and signage but because they believe in themselves and in their God given ability. A friend of mine always tells me 'your network determines your net-worth'. I think it is true. 

So, have the right associations and stay positive! It is good for your health after all :-). 

What do you do?

What do you do when you feel lost and have no idea what to do to be found?

What do you do when you want something you cannot have?

What do you do when all you have are questions but no answers?

What do you do when you have a sadness that lingers just beyond the horizon?

What do you do when you want the answer to be Yes but No is the best answer you can get?

What do you do when that which brought you joy, laughter and a peace, suddenly brings you nothing but pain and tears?

What do you do when you love but would rather not?

What do you do when you hate but should love?

What do you do when the realization you have lost hits you?

What do you do when you get that which you have been praying for vehemently?

What do you do when you are afraid?

What do you do when you cannot face up to your fears?

What do you do when it is not enough?

What do you do when you want more?

What do you do?