Listening to this morning show and hearing what the women and men were saying, I was utterly shocked! It made me wonder what is so good about marriage. I know posing that question will draw funny looks and some will conclude ‘that is a single person talking… cross the bridge first then we will talk’.
Some Kenyan men are supposedly termed as ‘gum’. A man called in bragging that he is earning a 6 figure salary but only gives his wife 2,000 bob and added that the amount was even too much. A lady called in and said during courtship her now current husband would provide everything for her and prior to marriage proceeded to tell her she need not work because he will provide for her. The ring slipped on to her finger and all those promises precipitated! The things he did during courtship, he stopped doing. She said her once lovely hair is now all covered up. She bitterly said “he lied to me. I am tired of this life”. Obviously not all Kenyan men are like that but these few bad ones might just spread the rot to the few good one. Or not.
What is mind-boggling for simple me is this: why is it that Kenyan men view Kenyan ladies as money-hungry gold-diggers? Men seem to be very bitter when it comes to the touchy subject of money! So I ask, does every man have a nasty, sad story of how a woman ‘destroyed/milked him dry financially? Is that why they feel that their money is almost sacred? That it should not be discussed let alone shared/handled by a woman?
What changes once a man and a woman are married? Is it safe to say that all that happens before marriage is a façade? Is it all an act, a means to an end? Do individuals in courtship present the most favorable image of themselves, anything to get that lady to say “Yes I do” and the man to slip the ring on that finger? Are we quietly observing the other person, noting their weaknesses saying to ourselves once we are married ataniona?
In my opinion both spouses are a representation of each other to the outside world. When a woman steps out there, how she looks, behaves, speaks reflects on the husband. Notice I said in my opinion. I mean why else does a man who seemed like a nobody, get a good girl to marry and they settle down and one year down the line, women who would not look twice at this man are all of a sudden interested in him? If your wife looks shabby and unkempt whereas you are trotting around town in your Giorgio-Armani suit looking sharp and smelling good and enjoying attention from other women, shame on you. Ladies if you are dressed up to the Nine’s rocking Jimmy choo while your husband looks like a shamba boy [gardener] shame on you. Y’all need to look after one another! Even the bible says so. Husbands take care of your wife. Wives submit to your husband.
See, the bottom line is LOVE. There is no way anyone can claim to love anything/anyone and act in a manner to suggest otherwise. As individuals, we love ourselves. We will do anything for our own pleasure. When you feel sad you will find a way to cheer yourself up. When you’re happy you will call your friends and celebrate. If you see a new toy/dress/ shoe/car/suit you will organize yourself and get that. Why? Because the ultimate end to that is your happiness. So I do not see how as a man I will profess to love you and then turn around and say ‘no way in hell will I let you, my wife, use my money. If you ever find yourself, treating or thinking of another person with spite in your heart, then know that no love exists in your heart. And when it comes to that you need Jesus- the source of all love.
That’s just me.
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