From one girl’s perspective!

There’s a high that comes with the onset of a new association… if I can call it that. Because it is not yet a full blown relationship and neither is it just plain friendship.

Think about the time when you met that new man. The smiles exchanged the butterflies in your stomach at your first date. How you felt when you realized you both like each other and the chemistry! Oh! The feeling is exhilarating to say the least. You know when you can’t get enough of him, want to see him/talk to him all the time, when you are thinking of him and when you reach for your cell to call/text him there he is doing exactly that, when you are busy doing something and you find yourself zoning out on him with a stupid grin on your face… that’s when you know you are sprung! You can’t explain it you just know it’s true.

Imagine yourself in this natural high… you are constantly smiling, looking forward to meeting later at ‘your joint’ that gooey feeling you get when you get a text and it’s him, how good it feels when he calls you at the end of every day to know how your day was, how happy you are when he introduces you to his other inner circle of friends… are you there?

Then one day it hits you the undreamed-of is happening. He is becoming distant, no longer communicating as he used to. So you call or text him, he responds to you-sometimes. Unexpectedly the man who kept time, who was always in tune to you no longer is! Admittedly you are filled with dread! [Or not depending on how you are wired]. So of course the phase that comes next is trying to figure out what you did/said that was wrong or not. Rarely will you find answers. Because when you ask him, he will say I’m okay. Everything is just fine!! Mind boggling isn’t it?

This compares to being on cloud 9 one second and the next, hitting rock bottom!

What is a girl to do then? I ask.

My answer, forget about him. I know the chances of that happening instantly are nil. What I’m saying is, focus your energies elsewhere, and don’t let thoughts of him to dominate your mind. That desire to call and just ‘hear’ his voice will ALWAYS check in. You however will need to deliberately take your thoughts somewhere else. Go cook, clean, run to the gym- in short do something that distracts you. Don’t put yourself in the position where you are pining after him, almost stalking him in the name of trying to get yourself back to where y’all were when it started out. Chances are if he’s not working on keeping whatever you had going on alive, his mind is fixated somewhere else not on you.

So dear girl, you’ve heard the quote ‘he’s just not that into you’, no? We’ll he’s not. It hurts to know this but when you think about it, it should help you put things into perspective. So instead of mopping around, wasting your thoughts and energies on him, missing out on other great chances... dust yourself off and get in the game again. Better still do the things you love to do. Get involved in activities that rejuvenate you and remind you how great life is and what your worth is. After all, the bible says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Look in the mirror, believe that about you and go out and face the world with a smile on your face. You see the reality is you will meet countless people in life. Some will like you some will not. That does not mean you are bad. Like companies like to say, maybe you’re not ‘a good fit’! Hahaha. So take the lesson, but don’t carry the bad experience around with you- that will only make you bitter. And no one wants a bitter woman around them, generally speaking.

That’s my 2cents!